Advice for you men...er, BOYS SeXStoRY

When I was younger, before I had my male cherry taken by a beautiful, sweet, caring, and VERY patient woman (Did I mention BEAUTIFUL? They're ALL beautiful in their own way!)I was like a blind, starving dog in a meat house! When you're not getting it, oftentimes you just want to rip her clothes off and jam that thing right into her quick! Get it in, get it out! "It won't hurt, did it?!" Nah, hah, hay!! It's like when you want to get a car loan: you aren't gonna get it unless you really don't need it! Same with getting laid. The best luck I ever had as a pussy magnet was just AFTER I married my first wife. They just wouldn't leave me alone! Of course, then I was predisposed, but that made it that much more of a prize for them. You always want what you can't have, right! You're dating a blonde so you lust after the brunette. You're married to a tall one and you want a short one. It seems that for some of us we're never satisfied! How many of you have wanted to "cure" a lesbian? Show her what real heaven is like? Huh?... I see it all the time as I go through the profiles on x-hamster. A girl thinks she'll try it, so she starts her own profile. Within 10 minutes of getting on here she has six hundred hits!!! --And I mean HITS! And why do so many of you act like complete Neanderthals?! "Hey, baby, let's fuck!" I'm not really complaining, because it leaves just that many more for guys like me to flirt with. IF, that is, she stays on here long enough to see that SOME of us really aren't rapists and woman beaters! Hey, fella, they've ALL seen the bear dance!! They're all on here because they love sex, you know? A great many of them are completely turned off to men, and when you think about it you can't really blame them! Notice some of the videos on my profile. Some of them are of lesbians, or women or girls who are TRYING it with other girls. WATCH those videos. They show some of the most tender, loving, and I say SENSUOUS lovemaking (LOVEMAKING, bud, did you ever hear of that term?) ever put to film. I've been really getting into the tribbing videos lately. Talk about SEXY! --And not a dick to be seen!!! Wonder of wonders!!! A couple of my dear (female) friends on x-hamster are into S&M. For the life of me, I can't understand why someone would want to be tied up and ****d, but then, hey, I'm not a woman. So I go with the flow. I try watching some S&M videos, and lo and behold it IS sexy! --But then THIS subject is for the more advanced... Higher education, COLLEGE courses for the reformed Neanderthal. Those of you who just crawled out from under your rocks please stick with the basics: Please, thank you, you look marvelous, darling; May I, I'd be so thankful if you would, Thank you so much. Pay attention, think about it, study hard, and there's going to be a test Friday.